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Unsatisfying Desktop Backgrounds

The perfect solution for your 'neat desktop' problems.

You too can make your very own Unsatisfying Desktop Backgrounds!

Unsatisfying Desktop Backgrounds can incorporate some form of humor and must be absurdly messy or just strange. Keeping things off centre/badly composed is a good way to start. Google Image Search is the best resource. And try to keep the themes irrelevant!

Send in your own Unsatisfying Desktop Backgrounds to udb@benk.com.au

78-Boy Boy

World Peace. It's hard to come by these days isn't it? Hmmm... Well My 14 cents (12 more than most people give) is that if everyone in the world has this as their desktop background at the same time, there will be a huge explosion somewhere in the ocean causing piece of carrot cake to fly into every living room, bathroom and pizza shop.

77-I Love Nodoze

I LOVE NODOZE! I LOVE IT, I LOVE IT, I LOVE IT! the really BIGones.... Nodose: but what about my cloud? don't you love it.

****message written at 4:16:27 am

(Written by iCERA)

76-Bishop Disapproves
The idea is based on the Greek myth of Oedipus, who unwittingly kills his father Laius and marries his mother Jocasta. The Oedipus complex or conflict is a concept developed by Sigmund Freud to explain the origin of certain neuroses in childhood. It is defined as a male child's unconscious desire for the exclusive love of his mother. This desire includes jealousy towards the father and the unconscious wish for that parent's death. I got in one little fight and my mom got scared, and said "You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in bel Air." I whistled for a cab, and when it came near, the license plate said "fresh" and it had dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cat was rare, but I thought "Nah forget it, Yo home to Bel Air." I pulled up to the house about seven or eight, and I yelled to the cabby "Yo homes, smell ya later." Looked at my kingdom, I was finally there, to sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air.

(Written by Will)

75-Chevy

What could be distasteful enough to create the most unsatisfying desktop ever? The answer, is late-seventies Chevrolet cars, mixed in with a little Comic Sans MS…

(Written by Jared)

74-Back

Everyone in the world under the age of 3 knows that Beck's music is influenced by his face. You too can make great music by sticking Beck's face all over your computer!

Call in sick tomorrow as there's a new Beck's Face in town; Your Desktop!

Note to customers: Beck stole my name and changed it slightly then used it as his own. Downloading Back is like payback.

73-Live But Prepared

Over the last fourteen to fifteen seconds, I've been thinking about what would make the worlds 3rd best SUPER-BAND so super-good and who this Tower Of Power (TOP) would consist of. I've decided we will need AT LEAST 2 John Mayers, 5 Gumbys, 2 'overly cool for overalls' lanky men made out of silver-foil and maybe a couple of short heavy metal obsessed lumberjacks in the background who can rock out their riffs better than any snow-covered duck in a beret and tuxedo can! After excessive fame, the group will be the first to rise for the national anthem at low cost theatre events.

72-Asplode

For attention.
We found company ready to EXPLODE!!
Put C G D C on your radar's now. This shows a significant up in
price and sometimes in days, not months or years.
Watch CGDC like a hawk! The alert is on!!

(Written by some junk email I got today)

71-The Business Lunch

You’ve been dreading that business meeting since Monday and now it’s Monday. You’re six hours late, and you’ve spilled turkey-look-alike-organ all over that red and green dress you bought for $50c (monkey sign) u turn up he’s not there you cry out “a sigh of relief” then to your complete dismay, u notice the smoke rising from under your corner booth and are not at all surprised she hasn’t called 1300 quit. You act smooth, “fancy-meeting your ear”. Its too late she’s already “black-marked” the good side of your one handed face with her butt. Against all braiiinss u offer “Same time same place?” it says “next time ill bring the marinade for that turkey on your chest”

(Written by Karen N.)

70-Finde ahh Wprrd

Find the twenty-two secret adverbs, then... utter them aloud at a party again... you'll be the hit...

(Written by Karen N.)

69-Dice

Description Coming Soon!

68-Emoticons

Sometimes you're happy , sometimes you're angry.. and that pretty much covers the human emotional spectrum when your research is based on commonly used emoticons from the internet.

teach your child today.

(Written by Shelley)

67-The Story of Billy Bob

The story of Billy, from beggining.

(Written by Billy)

66-Gift Certificates

Description Coming Soon!

65-Living with Bob Saget

People don't like Bob Saget.

The things on the roof eventually turned into a roast pudding which was enjoyed by the twins.

Putting Living with Bob Saget on your desktop is nothing like actually living with Bob Saget.

64-Dude Where's My Car?

Description Coming Soon!

63-Fatman

Description Coming Soon!

62-Copyright Infringement

Description Coming Soon!

Let's face it folks, although no-one is willing to admit it, we all
know the truth: John Candy and John Goodman are the same person.

(Written by Rob)

60-If You Throw Something Really Hard At Your Computer, You See Alf

Every decade has its furry wise-guys. 1993 was a big year for Alf, he realised that with the rise of computer graphics after the release of Jurassic Park, he was no longer top of the pops! He quickly hid under a pile of disowned car-seat covers where he fit in quite nicely. After 13 years he made his way into my computer, but I found him.

Find Alf in your computer today by placing If You Throw Something Really Hard At Your Computer, You See Alf as your background!

59-Wake me up when technology is ready

John Malkovich has done it again! He's gone and bought another toffee and cream hamburger which has clogged technology's development tube! Luigi-Dog-Warrior is under the mess and when he's figured out what to do someone will wake me. Until then, iPods will be the only form of pet allowed for Pug dog owners. sorry.

If everyone in the world downloads this desktop background at the exact same time there will be world confusion for 26 seconds.

58-Everybody Loves Channel 31
Everybody Loves Channel 31 revolves around Channel 31, a successful sportswriter living on Long Island with his wife, SBS, 12-year-old daughter, Chan, and 8-year-old twin sons, Nel and Nine. That's the good news. The bad news? Channel 31's meddling parents, ABC and Channel 10, live directly across the street, infiltrating their son's home to an extent unparalleled in television history. ABC's favorite expression, "Holy Crap," is shouted at regular intervals, and Channel 10's "cooking advice" is less than appreciated by SBS. Brother Channel 7, a divorced policeman, is constantly moving in and out of his parents' house, and loves to drop over and resent Channel 31's successful career and happy family life. Channel 31 and SBS just wish someone would knock once in a while.

(Written by Rob)

57-Stupid Perfume Poetry
Have you ever woken one morning and found that you are feeling particularly metaphysical? but when you try and express yourself through poetry you just end up with logical drivel ?!?!? Dr Smith, described in Publisher's Weekly as "like that art attack pommie but for poetry", has uncovered and developed the secret of the mystical art.
Dr Smith's golden rule of poetry: <sexual reference>*(<noun or adjective> + <completely illogical and unrelated noun adjective>)/<French Intonation regarding the meaning of life> = intellectual rhetoric

Decades of brain bleeding pretentious perfume poetry has proven Smith's rule. Here a truly profound work from a student of Dr Smith, Sven Shutzenghan-van-blitzkrieg-in-dein-pandz, head writer for Gucci, which can be found in many vanity-hysteria inducing magazines in Europe and Japan.

(Written by Jez)

56-See no Jarvis, Hear no Jarvis, Speak no Jarvis

oh no! superstar jarvis cocker from pulp has been overrun by naruto characters who claim to be common people! are they mad? you bet they are! see if you can spot your anime look alike!

(Written by Jona)

55-Jump Taco

Taco-Man has once again kidnapped an adoring fan, so once again a group of incredibly uncoordinated SUPER HEROES are asked by the guy in the top right to save her with their famous Jump Taco manoeuvre (and save some of the taco for him). He got his taco, don't you worry, just don't ask to see that adoring fan anytime soon.

Say "I am Taco Man!" to your next taxi driver to recieve a free strange look!

54-Derek
Do you have a major assignment due tomorrow? Just cant find your own opinon on the evolution of object d'art in systems aesthetics illustrating post-human discourse in the surpassing of man-machine symbiosis? Are you convinced that there is NOTHING WORSE than the assignment you are stuck with for the next 14 hous or so?

well fear not because THE DAYS OF YOUR CERTAINTY ARE SURELY OVER, WITH:

DEREK (the human actionfigure moron)
test the indurance of your sanity TODAY by staring at derek for as long as you can!
"it was the death-defying stunt that made me famous. Thankyou derek!"
- David Blaine

JEREMY ISAAC IS NOT RESPONSIBLE IN THE EVENT OF CARDIAC ARREST, BRAIN DAMAGE AND/OR THE UNDERTAKING OF YOUR SPOUSE AND/OR CHILDREN IN ANY FORM OF COSPLAY

(Written by Jez)

53-Pool

“Some times you just have to spoil yourself spoil yourself spoil yourself” Flanders flaunts his new trainers as a sad Charlie bucket watches wishing he had the latest pair of air max, however he is plagued by teenage dreams of cheerleaders giant frogs and the invading army of m trons. You are what you eat Charlie Bucket.

(Written by Al)

52-Strike That Match

Cuckoo! “They look like big strong hands don’t they” I tried to capture the essence of waking up then going on holiday really early in the morning, and playing mega man for 12 hours a day then eating to many yowies and tic tacs. Great huh!

(Written by Al)

51-I Am Angry At You Rhino

I'm currently having a fight with rhino.. But dont tell rhino i did it, because i am very angry at him right now.

(Written by Ariana)

50-Windows XP Slidorama

Can Space Ghost save Homsar's childrens??

Put on your desktop to find out!

(Written by Rob and Benk)

49-Writing on the Wall

Inspired by Picasso, the movie Spiderman II, War's "Low Rider", the "Guile's Stage" from Street Fighter 2, and my imaginary but evil pet cat Dogzilla, this was made in order to pay the tremendous bill problem I have with paying for my cat. O'Doyle Rules!

(Written by Shulzi)

48-The Anger Machine

What most people don't know about Thomas Edison is that after inventing the mouse trap, he was going to build a time machine, but instead he was influenced by his sidekick Jim Jarmusch to invent The Anger Machine which still operates today in Jarmusch's hidden Sea Laboratory somewhere beneath the Arctic Ocean. This is what causes 90% of today's anger and is also why people always smiled before the 30s.

This is all true. See desktop background for proof.

47-Coke F*ckin Cola B*tch

Remember magic eye books? I do. I guess this is a tribute to those magic eyes of the world, can you see the purple dolphins?

(Written by Al)

46-Fizzo

Having those intense feelings of sadness? YOU'VE COME TO THE RIGHT BEVERAGE!1!1!1! That's right kids!!! New "Wizzo Fizzo Wizz Fizz Beverage Enhancer" will have you glancing, prancing and romancing in no time flat!! 'I don't believe you!!!!!' you scream? Just ask our friendly customer support on 1800CARBONATEDFIZZ and we'll convince you of one thing and two things only:
1. Wizzo Fizzo has been Australia's number one sherbert beverage ever since it's debut in Tokyo at the world summit in 2003 for the banning of certain 'unneccesary' mario characters (mainly concerning the disconcerting 'Waluigi')
2-3. Low prices are for dorks and you'll NEVER wizz without our patented fizz!

(Written by Rob)

45-57 Today?

Burt Reynolds is an angry sailor today as he has lost his treasured moustache... See if you can help him find it in this fun picture puzzle game from the people who brought you 'Yellow Egg - Blue Egg' and 'Find That Sofa'...but hurry its only a matter of time before Burt erupts in a fit of rage and says something rude to the young couple in the corner:

'bums' or 'top-hat-merry-go-round' for example

(Written by Euan)

44-No Gary No

A tribute to no gary no sponsored by google images. I wish I was was called Gary, had a mullet with a mowhark, fell asleep on busses, drove a motor bike and was a green god with a all male cheerleading squad following me around!!!

(Written by Sarah)

43-Potatoes With Faces

Potatoes... Now you can have your own potato with this background. Find one you like, name it, and watch it grow! But don't forget to water it every 2 days!

(Written by Elina)

42-Leapfrog

Leapfrog is a fun game often played by children who would prefer not to walk, but rather spend the rest of their lives in wheelchairs. In involves a line of children crouching whiles another jumps over each child consecutively. Some 'hardcore' children have made the game more interesting by holding sledgehammers, anvils and other such weaponry as they partake in these stunts. There is a profound similarity between this game and the "Windows Task Manager".

(Written by Sir Jeremy Nagel)

41-Businessman of the Year!

1000/1012 people usually like to have their work recognised and if they work hard they like to be rewarded with a token more than some doggie biscuits. If you know a hard worker, why not send them the 2006 Businessman of the Year! award!? And if you're a hard worker yourself, or are just up yourself, place the award on your own desktop today!

The men on this background are not as good as you.

40-Planeteer

Do you like to save the world? Let the people know you really care! How? By setting your desktop background to Planeteers!! I would offer some planeteer rings to people who use this background, but come on! My budget doesn't allow for that! So go out and buy yourself a cereal box and pretend that what ever 'free' toy you get is your reward using the Planeteer desktop background!

39-The Bevily Hills Cop Billie 90201

When your legs get tired after a long day of fishing and mountain fishing on mountains, it's good to know you have a nice lounge room to come home to and watch all your favourite Beverly Hills related shows in.

This desktop background can also tell the future, so set it up today, and expect everything!

38-Baked Goods Mountian

This UDB shows Brian Harvey trying to conceal his tears as Santa mocks him from the top of 'baked goods' mountian...Brian Harvey of East 17 fame is notorious for his in-ability to keep cakes and other baked goods (muffins for example) in his posession and so breaks down in tears any time he sees a large collection of baked goods amassed together. Luckily he uses his fancy sunglasses and bowler hat in an effort to conceal his upset but only a marginal amount.

(Written by Euan)

37-I wanted to see that

5 men on one background! Computers can do more than they were designed for, this background proves that by being in black and white; the two colours that are not even colours!

Download this background today and call it a day, why worry yourself when the computer can do all the work?

36-Cakes

When the end of the world comes, at least we will have plenty of cakes.

35-But it's Winter!!

Do you live your life trying helplessly to avoid getting strange looks? I know you do, so just admit it, here's some need to know information!

If you're at a restaurant, and there's "Watermelon and Bulgarian Cheese" on the Menu, stay away! Even mentioning that your interested in it to a member of staff will get you the response listed in your new background, so you never forget!

34-Pies

The image features me and my friend Mario going on holiday. Charlie Knox is also featured as some sort of signpost blocking our way...other key features are that im wearing some sort of skirt and Mario is far too happy about the situation despite the pie prediciment...we're about to have a falling out...but only a little one...i cant stay mad at Mario...just look at him!

(Written by Euan)

33-Everyone Loves the Great New Taste of Euan !!

everyone loves the great new taste of euan !!

(Written by Shelley)

32-I Love Seth Cohen

To quote ashley_OC_lover - "wht it is yo...its me ash oh lee.. foo sho!!!lol im a jUnOir at Ho0veR...i am so gAngstErish...dogg...lol.. yo hott guys, leave me some loves k..lol...holla..see..i could so be totally gangsta..kinda.. i love the oc...i live to watch that effin show..it's a bomb ass show..i also love seth cohen...he is so flipin hilarious and sexy..I LOVE SETH COHEN...i could die for him!! lol so anywaise... leave me a comment yo.. luvs you lot...kiss kiss..ash oh lee cohen".

Oh and that guy there, at the top right.... yeh... well he's Mr. Heavyweight 2004 Seth Cohen. That's basically the theme of this piece.

(Written by Rob)

31-Dresses

When you know that you just can't stop that craving, and your heart won't let you do anything else, it's time, to get down and Boogie!

Alright, now that you know that, lets have a look to our left (my right) and.. Wow! What a sight!

Saving Dresses to every folder on your computer is a waist of time. but burning it on CD 20 times and throwing it off buildings isn't.

30-Free Toaster!

Just what every family needs! A sunny day out in the sun enjoying each others company while being paid to play frisbee... I mean to have a pop-up ad that you can't close!

Enjoy it, feed it, but remember, there are always strings attached, this one comes with 18 Dan Akroyds.

29-Blue and brown no one likes a mean clown

Brown and blue, who could want to combine the two when there is nothing new?

(Written by Benji)

28-Bluewaves Centred with Banana

Like blue waves, with yellow to soothe and ease the hunger for a soothing banana.

(Written by Benji)

27-Penguin Friends

In the day and age of hatred, racial discrimination and guerilla warfare, this unsatisfying desktop image is a joy to the eye in showing friendship to its highest level. A toast to the penguins, and those twins in the corner.

(Written by Matto)

26-Jokes

Do you ever just sit around at work and wish you had a good joke to tell?
Well now there is no need to think fast! Just look at your desktop and choose from the full selection of fine jokes ready for use!

I'm quite sure that's all you need; With Jokes you will be the funniest man or woman in the office!

25-Unidentified

Every month the world finds something that kills time and acts as scientific research. This month I will allow you to stare for up to 14 minutes at what seems to be the world's 3rd Space-Baby!

Jez has alerted us that if you look for more than 14 minutes he will enlarge again at the same ratio as the one shown in the image, but this time bursting out of the computer and destroying your house along with all of your bar coupons.

24-Bars

Computers. They're really hard. Trust me. They're not easy! Not even Bill Jobs or Steve Gates have a computer that doesn't confuse the frying meat balls out of the toaster!

UNTIL NOW!
Placing Bars as your desktop background gives you every option you will EVER need, right at your fingertips! So don't just sit there! Sit a little to your left, because your easy life starts now!

23-Teeth Whitening

Are you fed up with your face? Is your smile too human? Well Richard Hammond is from Mars! Or at least he would like to be.

What could a kid in a tuxedo want more than to be driven around by space-face? (to your left)

The man obviously owns a convertible space-craft and drives it way too fast! He was also offered a lead roll in the second Wallace and Gromit film until the Ardman animators realised that he is more than 2 feet tall.

Wizzo claims that if you hold your mouth open near Teeth Whitening for long enough, you will get a Beatles song stuck in your head.

22-A Carography

The Stig; Some say he urinates 98 RON petrol, and that he can smell corners. No one knows when the Stig was born, or how. But we do know why he was placed upon the Earth. To drive quickly. He has a penchant for prog rock, and rumour has it, likes his eggs sunny side up.

(Written by the BBC)

21-X-Men3 The La

Every 5 and a half years, a movie comes out which is so powerful it changes the way we think. First it was 'The Land Before Time VI' then 'Son of the Mask III' so now there's a lack of designers for making movie desktop backgrounds. Welcome to the BEST X-Men 3 desktop background!

I made X-Men3 The La as just a bit of superb fan art for kids without computers who didn't like Spider Man 2.

20-Hyperactive Squirtle

Shelley the hyperactive turtle... that kinda makes me feel a little unsatifsfied you know!

...it's kinda fricken gross!

(Written by Shelley)

19-Where's Wally?

In recent years 48.9 people have been accidentally been mistaken for Wally(aka Waldo). These poor souls have had things shouted at them by children such as; "How do I turn the page?!?" and "You weren't so hard to find, were ya b****?".

Elina's Where's Wally? explores the differences between Wally and similar looking gentlemen (I think they're all dancers).

18-UDB

Just like how people wear t-shirts that only display a company logo, so they never forget where they got their clothes; Your desktop background can be a constant reminder of the place where you got your desktop background!

It also has an image of a sideways building which should remind you to be cautious at all times!

17-Peanut Nut

Do you enjoy the adventures of Charles Brown and that dog guy as much as you enjoy eating lunch? If your answer is 'yes' then let me tell you that you are a common Peanut Nut!

The Peanut Nut desktop background is a great way to show people how much you like this cartoon, although I think it's just a fad.

16-Helpful Life Control

With the preset sections all done for you, all you need to do is set up your folders and enjoy the luxury of knowing where all your important files are!

Placing Helpful Life Control as your desktop background will help you organise your files just how I like them.

15-Untitled 5000

The chances that a snake will be eaten by an ant is incredibly low. Scientists recommend only watching this event take place once per life time, that's why Dani and I made Untitled 5000 not depict this affair.

But watch as these mundane objects get abstracted into shapes and lines, which actually gives me a headache.

14-Evil!

Once every 3-4 years, the haunting psycho nurse picks up her belongings and leaves in a fit of frustration. Ian's Evil! shows the exact hat the nurse wears to clean up spilled wine.

This image also glows in the dark!

13-Evil beagel

Beagels have a taste for garbage. They tip over bins an eat fish heads, the noise startles the lady next door. i saw it with my toy binoculars.

(Written by Al)

12-I made it

The apple/mac logo has been around for decades. It has now become a large problem that children take one bite out of real apples and try to jam it in their CD drives.

Thanks to I made it those children are overwhelmed with the imagery of an apple with one bite out of it and they now refuse to take an apple into the computer room.

11-A glance

Description comnig soon to a store near you!

10-They might be vomiting pumpkins and ipod Homestars

No one is quite sure what Rob had for breakfast the day he made They might be vomiting pumpkins and ipod Homestars, but a few local hairdressers have made it their duty to have a weekly discussion on the topic of water bottle holders on bikes.

Cheat Trick: If you set this image as your background then play Mario Kart 64, push pause 30 seconds into your race to get a snack.

09-Warning Signs

It is funny to watch people aimlessly wandering through a grocery store with that "I'm baffled by these cabbage prices" look up on their face. This has little or nothing to do with Jona's Warning Signs which shows plenty of reasons to just stay indoors!

Following all these instructions simultaneously may result in an instant online degree in acting.

08-Unsatisfied

Is your life comfortable, warm and lacking in a disturbing clash of colours and style? Well just add this to your desktop for hours of disquiet and a somewhat queasy feeling as you take it all in!

(Written by Karen)

07-8Bit_Wonder

99% of people in the world have played and loved early nintendo games (made up statistics). 100% of those people want a desktop background made up of nintendo screenshots such as 8Bit_Wonder(statistics based on the last ones).

So if you add that all together, I've made this one for the people.

06-Tell me what you see when you look at me

Deep within the dark mysterious depths of crystal caves is not a place that I visit often. Al's Tell me what you see when you look at me gives a clear and truthful insight as to what you should expect in your near future if you think treasure hunting is for you!

Tiling this image on your desktop may cause seizures, but not to anyone in the same room as you though. So give it a try!

05-Data By the Meg

Do you remember the days before computers? When adding digits was as hard as swatting a fruit fly? Well now you don't have to! With Data By the Meg on your desktop you can forget all about fruit fly swatting as you enter the DIGITAL AGE!

Random Fact: All the 5 Unsatisfying Desktop Backgrounds inclusive of this one add up to 1.4 meg.

04-Best days of the Week

I have selected Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday as the Best days of the Week.
The pie graph is not accurate, and although it is dominant to the image and in the centre, it should be ignored.

Most people who use this desktop background also call people "Stinkin' Liars".

03-Tribute to a Fool

As the decades roll on, just look at what we are leaving behind.
It's time we bring Steve Urkel into the 21st century with Tribute to a Fool.

Setting this image as your desktop background will make you a happier person.

02-folder folder folder folder

Have you ever found it too easy to get to that file you want?

Add some challenge to your day,
Add some obstacles in your way,
Add some spice to your life!

With folder folder folder folder every day WILL be a holiday.

01-It's good to be Shaq

This image goes hand in hand with any computer. With this on your desktop, your workload will be up to 80% more irrelevant, no matter what field you work in.

Set up your It's good to be Shaq Desktop today!